Episode 152 S4-28
When Friends Become Family
Battle for the South Ch 28
Sometimes friends can become just like family. In a long term survival situation it will be imperative to surround yourself with people you can trust. Some friends can be more loyal and trustworthy than your family. Plus, you can choose your friends but not your family. There are times when we come to mentally rely upon family members to instruct, guide and help us. When we lose those family members it can be devastating but the void can be filled by friends. In a long term survival situation, it is guaranteed that you will lose love ones but you may gain new ones along the way.
Friendship is subjective. You may think that because you guys laugh together and share good times that you are friends but in a long term survival situation you will be living and working with that individual everyday. You have to know if that person would drive you crazy. You can't just get caught up in the emotions of the friendship. Rifts can happen very rapidly.
A sure sign that your friend has become as close as family is you could trust them indefinitely. Trust is absolutely paramount. It is not something that comes instantly but must be earned over time. Trust is a sacred bond. Ask yourself: will they truly have your back? You can overcome quarks and personality traits but if there is no trust, there is nothing. You need to know how that person will really respond when the stuff gets real. Put yourself in the scenario to test the relationship and see who they really are. Go on a couple day camping trip with only your go-bags and see how there emotional status holds up. Really listen to what and how they say things. Watch and listen to how they interact with other people.
In any relationship there will be conflict. Having a set of tools to handle conflicts will be essential to the stability of your group. Communication is key here. A lot of conflicts are direct results of misunderstandings. Discuss any problems right away and do not let them fester. One miscommunication can ruin your day and then you may find out that it was all a misunderstanding and there was no need for ill feelings. Watch their body language, listen to their tone of voice. Try to talk it out without wanting to kill each other. Choose your battles is a conflict even worth it? Respect their opinions and try to find a middle ground.
To meld families together you need rules and guidelines set up before you start. This is essential if the relationship is going to last. Have roles and expectancies for every individual set up. Make sure everyone knows what is acceptable and what is not. Use an individual's talents to highlight their roles and what is expected of them. Set boundaries and make sure they are understood. The elements of individual marriages and relationships between individuals in your group will effect the whole group. If there is a separation, what happens to the individuals? Who stays and who goes? Do you accept the new partner? If an individual broke the trust of the person they love, will they do that to the group? Try to consider all of the possible dynamics. Think outside the box, anything is possible. When connecting with another family it takes a long time to develop trust, respect, and a real working relationships. There may be differences in child rearing ideals and family dynamics when interacting with spouses, etc. This all needs to be taken into consideration.
Featured Quote From Today's Chapter:
"I gave you the chance to tell me and you lied...You lied when the lives of my family and closest friends were on the line."