Episode 278 S7-40
Healing from Psychological Abuse
Hope on the Horizon Ch 40
Unlike psychological torture, society is subjecting its members to, it is possible to remove yourself from toxic relationships. However, finding your self-esteem and sense of who you are can be difficult. You may engage in self-destructive behaviors because you feel guilty for allowing the situation to persist for so long. Understand that people you trust and have your best interest in mind do not call you names and yell at you. They do not try to control your thoughts and actions or make you think you are crazy for feeling a certain way.
Healing from this exposure to this constant control can be difficult. You may have cut your feelings off entirely in an attempt to cope. The never-ending criticism of what you do and who you are takes a significant toll on your sense of worth. Individuals who break free may try to overachieve and be a people pleaser to the detriment of their self needs. The constant abuse leaves you feeling like you are not good enough, and often when freed from the abuser; you seek reinforcement and approval.
Alternatively, anger may dominate your thought patterns—frustration with the situation, yourself, and the abuser. The psychological abuse has removed your identity, and you struggle to find it again. Anxiety and depression can haunt you, and your trust level is very low.
When I look at this information presented regarding how individuals feel after being subjected to toxic relationships, I can't help but think of individuals' overall psyche today. Whether self-imposed or societal pressured, many of these feelings describe the general state of individuals caught up in this power struggle for our country. At some point, we have to begin the healing process.
For an individual to begin the healing process, they need to admit the abuse happened. Abusive people and segments of society will try to convince you that the punishment you received was your fault, something you earned. They may try to avoid talking about it to protect themselves. You have to acknowledge it for what it was and allow yourself to go through the grief stages.
Believe it or not, abuse is like a drug. Now that you have a clearer mind, you need to use it. Your heart may want to return, but your head must stay focused on healing and moving on. You have to be determined to protect yourself at any cost. Accomplishing small goals and reexamining your values and belief structure will give you a stable platform to realize who you are and what matters to you. It protects you from future abuse because you will know that behavior is not in line with your belief structure.
The abuser, whether that be an individual or a segment of society, will try to convince you that you are selfish for protecting yourself, believing in yourself, and making choices for yourself. Your mind will question your path. You have to keep your value system front and center. Take your newfound confidence and live there, addressing any regression or depression immediately.
Put your anger into something constructive. You can't let anger dominate you. It must be acknowledged and released. Do something physical, whether that be running or hitting a pillow or punching bag. The offense has to go somewhere. Then, focus that energy on something positive. Get involved with the community and grow your network of supportive relationships.
Once you can rationalize the abuse you have been receiving, you may want to help others recover. You are empowered, not stuck in the abuse cycle. Since you are no longer pleading for understanding and mercy, you can help others see that they don't have to either. This empowerment turns internal, and the voice inside your head that abuses yourself for your actions turns off and allows you to be confident in your actions because you know it is in line with your value system.
At this point, you can become a model for others, leading the way to success. Without the attraction to abusive situations, you can help others avoid it too. You can build a network of productive individuals ready to assist others with their struggles. These people, caught up in their self-doubts and persecution, will look at you with newfound respect because you have freed your mind from the abuse.
Healing from an individual or societal psychological abuse is not an easy thing to do. You will have periods of regression and self-doubt. That is okay. Stay your path for yourself, your family, and your community. We need to heal as a nation and learn that it is okay to disagree and not abuse one another for their ideas. Instead, collaboration is critical. If an individual can't open their mind, you must move on and not seek further approval from an abused individual whose only goal is to undermine your belief system.
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