No matter how you feel about hot-button social issues, division can weaken a community faster than any outside force. These are the main points from our conversation.

Divide and conquer is an old strategy. It comes from the Latin "divide et impera," and it breaks a large population into smaller pieces that are easier to control. Philip II of Macedonia used it around 359 BC. Julius Caesar used it in the Gallic Wars by getting the fighters of Gaul to doubt their leader. Britain used it in India by splitting existing groups apart. Source: techwithtech.com.

Our founders built in a defense. They split power into legislative, executive and judicial branches, and kept State sovereignty, so no one group could take too much control and the focus stays on the welfare of the people.

Tribes make us easier to sway. When people are separated by race, religion, gender or political opinion, it is easier to manipulate everyone. Media that only feeds us what we already believe widens the split. Look for sources that show more than one view.

Step out of your tribe. Fear and emotion are powerful. Passion for your beliefs matters, but not at the cost of our community. Try to understand the values of the people you disagree with. That is the first step to common ground, and to leaving our children a place of refuge.